As summer winds down, I find myself mentally racing through a checklist of “summer fun” – making sure we did all the things, had all the fun. Did we do enough? my mind dares to ask. Was it full enough? Did we make enough memories? But as soon as the questions surface my mind, a part of me instantly regrets asking them. What happened to the days when kids made their own fun? When summer stretched long and aimless, until boredom pushed you outside to invent your own adventure?
I can still vividly remember waking up early on some summer mornings as a child, racing to beat my siblings to the “fort” we made in the wooden trail behind our home. The designated fort was three trees that stood amongst themselves like a triangle, the door and walls drawn and seen entirely in our own imaginations. Sometimes it was fun to have this magical place all to myself and let my own wonder run wild before my siblings joined in. I enjoyed independent play on occasion in a home that was always full of chaos. I loved the peace and quiet of the woods. It was there that I learned how to entertain myself and how to create my own kind of fun.
I often wonder if this way of life – the space to wonder and adventure and dream and create – are we still giving that to our children? Or have their screens become the primary mechanisms of entertainment now? We are not a home that’s anti-screen or anti-phone. I genuinely respect my peers who’ve chosen that path, but it’s not the rhythm that works for us. So, my responsibility becomes balance; holding space for both the privilege of screen time and the privilege of screen-off time. In our home, I consider both as privileges. Behind our screens is a world of resources, discovery and free entertainment, but our everyday life holds the same opportunity.
Over dinner last night my husband, Brandon, and I were talking about what a beautiful day it had been and what all we had wished we could have done on the farm with the break of the heat. He mentioned that at some point in the day he had to tell our kids to get outside and do something on such a beautiful day. On our 40 acres of land with a pond, a pool, and tons of wooded area, surely there is something they can find to entertain themselves. Surely.
That discussion with him segued into us venting about teens being stuck on screens and then, of course, reminiscing about our childhoods without the internet. Those days are long gone, but one thing we are determined to do is to be the parents that force our children outside. We’re going to be the ones that say, “Give me your phone. Put away your iPad. Get outside and do something.” We’ll be the ones saying, “Get out of bed and move your body.” We are going to be the voice of productivity. The voice that calls them into real life. And, in the midst of that, we’ll also be the ones packing the car up for adventures we planned just for them.
Because the art of it… is in the balance, and that’s what we’re trying to teach them.
-by Destini McPherson
