My grandmother’s kitchen always smelled of bacon grease and apple cinnamon. I can still hear her humming as she kneaded dough for dumplings, sometimes weaving stories from her life between the folds, other times just listening to me talk. When she passed, the only belonging I longed for was her cookbook; the one with her infamous chicken and dumplings recipe. That book, though tattered and torn, is one of my most treasured possessions because it was a piece of her, and a piece of who she was to me.
She lived a humble life filled with ordinary contentment, and the older I get, the more I find myself treasuring those same simple joys: coffee on a porch swing on a brisk morning, a hummingbird outside my kitchen window, the glow of a candle after the house is clean, a full gas tank, or the sound of birds on a sunshiny 70-degree day. These ordinary moments only require me to slow down and notice them, the very way my grandmother always did.
I often think about being a grandparent myself, because my grandparents shaped so much of who I am. I’m in no rush to reach that stage, but I look forward to it, and I find myself imagining the role I’ll play in my grandchildren’s lives someday. I think about the spoiling, the influence I hope to have, and the little mischief my husband and I might share with them. I imagine teaching them the small, everyday joys, like the way my grandmother taught me, and creating traditions that carry love across generations. I believe we should all cast visions for ourselves in life, and when I picture myself in the years to come, I see myself as a grandmother.
Recently, I asked my Facebook friends to share one word they would want their grandchildren to use to describe them. The responses were fascinating:
Dependable. Calm. Loving. Home. Mindful. Safe. Fun. Joyful. Buddy. Contagious. Faithful. Authentic. Devoted. Present. Intentional. Giving. Godly. Friend. Trusting. Amazing. Protective. Adventurous. Anchor. Supportive. Silly. Involved. Honorable. God-fearing. Trailblazer. Compassionate. Inspiring. Unconditional. Matriarch. Humble. Iconic. Nurturing. Resilient. Comforting. Healed. Cool. Wanted. Kind. Sweet. Fair.
It was striking to see the variety, yet at the heart of all these words was the same desire: to be known, to be remembered, and to leave a legacy worth carrying forward. I hope my grandchildren will one day use so many of the same words my peers want their grandchildren to say. I hope I’m fortunate enough to be an intricate part of their lives and somehow woven into their identity.
The greatest inheritance our children and grandchildren will receive isn’t tucked away in a bank account, but in the stories we tell, the resilience they witness, and the joy discovered in the ordinary. And if we are lucky, one day our grandchildren will hold onto those things with the same reverence I hold my grandmother’s cookbook: ordinary treasures that become extraordinary because of the love woven through them.
-by Destini McPherson
